Tooth care
Posted by: allaboutbabyblog on: January 20, 2010
What’s the best way to brush my child’s teeth?
While your child’s early teeth are still coming in, you can clean them with a wet washcloth or a piece of gauze. By the time her back molars have come in (around 18 months), you can switch to a soft nylon-bristle child’s toothbrush. Using a pea-sized amount of toothpaste, gently brush the teeth on both the outside and inside surfaces twice a day. Brush her tongue as well (if she’ll let you) to dislodge the bacteria that can cause bad breath. Replace the toothbrush as soon as the bristles start to look worn or splayed out.
When should I let my child start brushing her own teeth?
As soon as she is willing and able, it’s a good idea to let her try to brush her own teeth, even though she probably won’t be able to do a good job of it until she’s about school age. Brush your teeth while she’s doing hers, and then “check” each other’s teeth to see if they’re clean. If her teeth sparkle and reflect light, she’s done a good job. If not, tell her you think she “missed a spot” and finish the job for her. Most children do not have the coordination to brush their teeth adequately until they have mastered using a knife and fork.
What should I do if my child won’t brush?
If your child fusses every time it’s time to brush, it might help to buy her a toothbrush or paste with a special cartoon character on it. According to Liz Birka White, a mother of three in Diablo, California, this worked well for all of her children: “Adam, my firstborn, really hated brushing until I bought him an Elmo toothbrush. From that day on, he couldn’t get enough. It was just the ticket I needed to interest him in brushing.” You can also let your child have several brushes in different colors so that she can choose the one she wants when it’s time to brush.
When does my child need fluoride and how can I tell if she’s getting the right amount?
Developing teeth can certainly benefit from a little fluoride. This mineral prevents tooth decay by strengthening tooth enamel and making it more resistant to acids and harmful bacteria. Most municipal water supplies are fortified with fluoride. (Call your local water authority or ask your dentist about yours.) If it isn’t, or if you get your water from a well, consider buying a test kit from a hardware store to determine the fluoride level in your water supply. If it’s less than .3 parts per million, ask your pediatrician whether you should give your child a supplement (the amount recommended for children under 3 is .25 milligrams per day). He can prescribe a fluoride supplement in the form of drops or chewable tablets.
A little fluoride is a good thing for your child’s teeth, but swallowing too much of it over time can lead to a condition called fluorosis that can cause white spots to show up on her adult teeth. If you live in an area with fluoridated water, your child is most likely getting plenty of fluoride. Bottled water and fruit juices may also contain fluoride, although the amount is rarely listed on the label. If your child is using a fluoridated toothpaste, you should let her use only a pea-sized drop each time. This is because young children tend to swallow their toothpaste rather than spit it out. Swallowing too much toothpaste over time can lead to fluorosis.
When should I start taking my child to the dentist?
The American Academy of Pediatrics and most pediatric dentists say it’s a good idea to bring your child to a dentist around the time she turns 1. If you haven’t yet taken her for a dental checkup, consider making an appointment soon, especially if you notice any signs of tooth decay such mouth pain, particularly while eating.
Source: http://www.babycenter.com/0_tooth-are_65340.bc?scid=mbtw_post3y_1m:628&pe=2UdYc1a
Ten ways to build your child’s self-esteem
Posted by: allaboutbabyblog on: January 20, 2010
- In: Development
- 1 Comment
Nurturing your child’s self-esteem may seem like a hefty responsibility. After all, a feeling of self-worth lays the foundation for your child’s future as he sets out to try new things on his own. “Self-esteem comes from having a sense of belonging, believing that we’re capable, and knowing our contributions are valued and worthwhile,” says California family therapist Jane Nelsen, co-author of the Positive Discipline series.
“As any parent knows, self-esteem is a fleeting experience,” says Nelsen. “Sometimes we feel good about ourselves and sometimes we don’t. What we are really trying to teach our kids are life skills like resiliency.” Your goal as a parent is to ensure that your child develops pride and self-respect — in himself and in his cultural roots — as well as faith in his ability to handle life’s challenges (for a school-age child that may mean giving a dance performance for you). Here are ten simple strategies to help boost your child’s self-esteem:
Give unconditional love. A child’s self-esteem flourishes with the kind of no-strings-attached devotion that says, “I love you, no matter who you are or what you do.” Your child benefits the most when you accept him for who he is regardless of his strengths, difficulties, temperament, or abilities. So, lavish him with love. Give him plenty of cuddles, kisses, and pats on the shoulder. And don’t forget to tell him how much you love him. When you do have to correct your child, make it clear that it’s his behavior — not him — that’s unacceptable. For instance, instead of saying, “You’re a naughty boy! Why can’t you be good?” say, “Please don’t throw the football in the house. A football is an outside toy.”
Pay attention. Carve out time to give your child your undivided attention. That does wonders for your child’s feelings of self-worth because it sends the message that you think he’s important and valuable. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time; it just means taking a moment to stop flicking through the mail if he’s trying to talk with you or turning off the TV long enough to answer a question. Make eye contact so it’s clear that you’re really listening to what he’s saying. When you’re strapped for time, let your child know it without ignoring his needs. Say, “Tell me all about what happened at soccer practice, and then when you’re finished, I’ll need to make our dinner.”
Teach limits. Establish a few reasonable rules for your child. For instance, if you tell him to wear his helmet when he rides his bike in the driveway, don’t let him go without it at his friend’s house. Knowing that certain family rules are set in stone will help him feel more secure. He’ll start to live by your expectations soon enough. Just be clear and consistent and show him that you trust him and expect him to do the right thing.
Support healthy risks. Encourage your child to explore something new, such as trying a different food, making a new friend, or riding a skateboard. Though there’s always the possibility of failure, without risk there’s little opportunity for success. So let your child safely experiment, and resist the urge to intervene. For instance, try not to “rescue” him the minute he’s showing mild frustration at figuring out how to read a tricky word. Jumping in to say, “I’ll do it” can foster dependence and diminish your child’s confidence. You’ll build his self-esteem by balancing your need to protect him with his need to tackle new tasks.
Let mistakes happen. The flip side, of course, of having choices and taking risks is that sometimes your child is bound to make mistakes. These are valuable lessons for your child’s confidence. So if your child misses the school bus because he was dawdling in his bedroom, encourage him to think about what he might do differently next time. That way his self-esteem won’t sag and he’ll understand that it’s okay to make mistakes sometimes. When you goof up yourself, admit it, says Daniel Meier, assistant professor of elementary education at San Francisco State University. Acknowledging and recovering from your mistakes sends a powerful message to your child — it makes it easier for your child to accept his own difficulties.
Celebrate the positive. Everyone responds well to encouragement, so make an effort to acknowledge the good things your child does every day within his earshot. For instance, tell his dad, “Peter did all his chores today without prompting.” He’ll get to bask in the glow of your praise and his dad’s heartening response. And be specific. Instead of saying “Good job,” say, “Thank you for setting the table for dinner.” This will enhance his sense of accomplishment and self-worth and let him know exactly what he did right.
Listen well. If your child needs to talk, stop and listen to what he has to say. He needs to know that his thoughts, feelings, desires, and opinions matter. Help him get comfortable with his emotions by labeling them. Say, “I understand you’re sad because you can’t go to the sleepover.” By accepting his emotions without judgment, you validate his feelings and show that you value what he has to say. If you share your own feelings (“I’m worried about Grandma. She’s very sick”), he’ll gain confidence in expressing his own.
Resist comparisons. Comments such as “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” or “Why can’t you be nice like Evan?” will just remind your child of where he struggles in a way that fosters shame, envy, and competition. Even positive comparisons, such as “You’re the best player” are potentially damaging because a child can find it hard to live up to this image. If you let your child know that you appreciate him for the unique individual he is, he’ll be more likely to value himself too.
Offer empathy. If your child compares himself unfavorably to his siblings or peers (“Why can’t I throw a football like Nicholas?”), show him empathy and then emphasize one of his strengths. For instance, say, “You’re right. Nicholas is good at throwing a football. And you’re a fast runner.” This can help your child learn that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and that he doesn’t have to be perfect to feel good about himself.
Provide encouragement. Every child needs the kind of support from loved ones that signals, “I believe in you. I see your effort. Keep going!” Encouragement means acknowledging progress — not just rewarding achievement. So if your child is struggling with a math problem, say: “You’re trying very hard and you almost have it!” instead of “Not like that. Let me do it.”
There’s a difference between praise and encouragement. One rewards the task while the other rewards the person (“You did it!” rather than “I’m proud of you!”). Praise can make a child feel that he’s only “good” if he does something perfectly. Encouragement, on the other hand, acknowledges the effort. “Tell me about the game. I saw you really hustling out there” is more helpful than saying, “You’re the best player on the team.” Too much praise can sap self-esteem because it can create pressure to perform and set up a continual need for approval from others. So dole out the praise judiciously and offer encouragement liberally; it will help your child grow up to feel good about himself.
Source:
Brush Your Teeth – Nursery Rhyme
Posted by: allaboutbabyblog on: December 19, 2009
Well, you wake up in the morning, it’s a quarter to one and you wanna have a little fun
(Chorus:)
You brush your teeth (brush, brush, brush your teeth)
You brush your teeth (brush, brush, brush your teeth)
You brush your teeth – get ‘em real nice and clean
You wake up in the morning, it’s a quarter to two
and you wanna find something to do
(Chorus)
You wake up in the morning, it’s a quarter to three
and you wanna flash your smile at me
(Chorus)
You wake up in the morning, it’s a quarter to four
and you think you hear a knock on your door
(Chorus)
You wake up in the morning, it’s a quarter to five
and you start to hear those birds come alive
(Chorus)
You wake up in the morning, it’s a quarter to six
You know you better get those teeth brushed real quick
(Chorus)
You wake up in the morning, it’s a quarter to seven
When I’m brushing my teeth, I’m in seventh heaven
(Chorus)
You wake up in the morning, it’s a quarter to eight
You better finish brushing those teeth, or you’re gonna be late (Chorus)
You wake up in the morning, it’s a quarter to nine
When you’re brushing your teeth, you know you feel real fine (Chorus)
You wake up in the morning, it’s a quarter to ten
If you want any more, you’ll have to sing it again
(Chorus)
Brush Your Teeth – Videos
Posted by: allaboutbabyblog on: December 19, 2009
Getting Your Child to Brush Their Teeth
Posted by: allaboutbabyblog on: December 19, 2009
Getting your child to brush their teeth sounds simple enough, right? But if you’ve ever had to hold a struggling toddler down to brush their teeth than you know it’s easier said than done. For whatever reason, some kids just hate to brush or have their teeth brushed. However, the alternative of not brushing leads to a whole host of problems like rotten teeth.
Get Them Started Early
To establish good oral habits in your child, start cleaning their teeth from the start. In fact, the American Dental Association suggests that you begin cleaning your baby’s mouth the first few days after birth. The ADA recommends that you take a wet washcloth and clean your baby’s gums after each feeding.
After those first teeth appear, take a cotton ball and gently clean each tooth. Your baby will become accustomed to you cleaning their teeth and will be less resistant as they get older.
Follow these Rules
Most children don’t have the capacity to correctly brush their teeth until the age of six and need your assistance. When brushing your child’s teeth remember…
• Use only a pea-size amount of toothpaste on their toothbrush as larger amounts tend to create excessive foam making it more difficult for your child to brush.
• Make sure that your child gets in the habit of spitting out the toothpaste. Swallowing toothpaste on a consistent basis can lead to a condition known as fluorosis, in which spots may appear on your child’s teeth.
• Be careful of the toothpaste you use. Almost all toothpastes contain harsh flavorings that adults barely notice, but that can sting young mouths. Choose toothpaste designed for young children and a flavor that your child likes. Sometimes it takes some trial and error to find the right flavor for your child.
Make it Fun!
Many children just don’t like to brush their teeth because it isn’t fun or takes away time from more desirable activities. Try and make brushing their teeth a fun activity.
• Let your child brush your teeth. You should laugh a lot and make it a fun activity. Then allow them to “brush” their own teeth. Finish by brushing your child’s teeth.
• Have your child brush their favorite doll’s teeth before you brush theirs. Remember always allow them to “brush” their own teeth and then follow up by brushing their teeth correctly.
• Hang a piece of bright construction paper on the bathroom wall. Each time your child has a thorough brushing, he or she can choose a sticker or star and put it on the poster.
• Get a toothbrush or toothpaste with their favorite character on it. Or better yet purchase one of those toothbrushes that light up or play music. These toothbrushes are fun and usually have a timer on them to let the kids know how long to brush.
Remember instilling good brushing habits now will stay with your child for the rest of their life and preserve those beautiful smiles that parents love so much!
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Should We Have Another Baby?
Posted by: allaboutbabyblog on: December 19, 2009
Deciding whether to expand your family by one more – whether this would be your second child or your sixth – is one of the most significant decisions you will make in your lifetime. There is no crystal ball to show the consequences of your decision in the future. A great number of variables come into play here, and the answer to the question, “How many children?” is vastly different for every family.
The questions to ask yourself
The key to making this decision is to ask the right questions, and to take the time to search your soul and figure out the answers. There are no “right” answers here, because we are all very different human beings.
Why do I want another child?
Reasons may run the gamut from wanting a sibling for your child, to simply loving to raise children. Consider what you know of yourself, your view of family life, your own upbringing – the countless reasons of the heart. If it’s the amazing experiences of pregnancy and childbirth you miss, remember that your commitment only begins with these and continues long after the baby’s arrival. If you’re considering another child due to pressure from your parents, in-laws, other relations or friends, tune their voices out for a bit and listen only to those of yourself and your mate. This decision must come from the two people who know your situation best, and who will have to live the day-to-day realities of another child.
How will another baby change our economic position? Are we willing to make that change? You’ll note that the question is not, “Can we afford another baby?” The issue runs deeper than that, because many families are more than willing to make the necessary financial compromises. You need to be realistic: Adding a child does add expenses. But “economics” addresses resources beyond the strictly financial. You also need to consider your time, your patience, and your attention – all essentials that will have to be divvied up among more than one child. Most people find that there’s plenty to go around because of one related, easily renewable resource: love.
How will life change, and are we ready for that change?
Since you already have a baby, you know how much time a new baby demands in his first few years. A second (or third or ninth) is no different and will tug at your hours along with his siblings. While you shouldn’t base a major life decision on the next 24 months, you do need to remember that one year follows another: each year builds on the one previous. So make a realistic assessment of how this will change your lives both now and in the future that follows.
How will a new baby affect the lives of your other children?
Babies have an effect on the whole house, not just mom and dad. How a new sibling will affect the child you do have isn’t a reason to have (or not have) more children, but the unique characteristics of the child you already have should factor in to your decision.
Are you and your partner on the same page?
The two of you must discuss your thoughts about another baby and come to an agreement, one way or the other, that both can be happy with.
Is this a question of when? Perhaps you know that you want another child, but you’re not certain if now is the right time. Here are some points to consider:
- The impact of pregnancy. Studies demonstrate that waiting at least 18 months between pregnancies gives you the best odds for a healthy pregnancy, delivery and baby. This isn’t a guarantee, of course, and many women who have babies 10 months apart have normal pregnancies and healthy babies. Generally speaking, however, ample time between pregnancies gives your body a chance to recover fully.
- The waiting time for adoption. Depending on the situation under which you adopt, a long period may elapse between when you first make your decision and when your new baby actually joins your family.
- The age gap issue. How far apart in age should your children be? No perfect answer there either… I’ve experienced both sides of the issue: My first three children are all two years apart, and then there was an eight-year gap before my fourth child arrived. I can clearly see that both situations have advantages. The bottom line is that the personalities of your children and your family patterns will have more to do with their short- and long-term relationships than anything as simple as the number of months or years that separate their birthdays.
- The biological clock and fertility issues. In today’s world, many couples are starting their families later in life. If pregnancy is your route to your next baby, you’ll certainly want to investigate the factors involved in conception. While women can have babies in their forties (my son Coleton arrived when I was 41), fertility rates drop dramatically after the age of 35. Achieving pregnancy (and finally meeting that new family addition) may take longer than you expect.
What’s in your heart?
If you’ve thoroughly examined all the issues involved in adding another baby to your family, and your heart and soul continue to have an empty spot that craves another child (or conversely, the doubt and fear are overwhelming), then perhaps you already have your answer.
Source : http://www.justmommies.com/articles/should-we-have-another-baby.shtml
Should You Have a Second Child? 10 Tips for Deciding
Posted by: allaboutbabyblog on: December 19, 2009
Deciding whether or not to have a second child can be agonizing. Two
children is the norm. Yet more and more couples are stopping with one.
How can you determine what’s best for you?
Here are some tips for making one of life’s biggest decisions:
*Consult your partner. Your spouse’s insights may help with
your own thought process. It’s also important to understand each other’s
concerns. Hearing my husband’s fear that another child would stress our
marriage, I kept date night on the agenda after our second baby arrived.
*Don’t rush. Having children who are three years or less apart in
age is hard on parents early on. If you’ve just had your first and aren’t
racing the biological clock, take a breather. Some of the happiest
parents have children who are widely spaced.
*Weigh the sibling factor. Providing a sibling for your firstborn is
not a sufficient reason for having another baby. Not all siblings get
along, and singletons do fine. You need to want to raise another child. If
you want a playmate, arrange a playdate.
*Visualize life with two. With one child you can hang on to your
adult life. Two puts you firmly in the kiddie world. Expect dinners at the
pizza restaurant, not the bistro. Prepare to double the sick days, but also
double the fun, especially as your kids grow and play together.
*Visualize life with one. You get lots of time together with an
only child. You’re also the default entertainment. Count on enjoying a
close, special relationship, and playing a lot of Candyland.
*Think ahead. Okay, so you want another baby. But do you want
another teenager? Or are you just trying to preserve the baby stage of
parenthood, which passes no matter how many kids you have?
*Consider your resources. The second child can strain you
financially, emotionally and physically. But you’ll also grow to meet the
challenges and realize how much you learned the first time around.
*Reframe the question. How would you feel upon learning that
you couldn’t have another child? Sad? Relieved? Listen to your first
reaction to this question.
*Make a choice. Decisions are hard, but empowering. If you
can’t decide, consult a therapist. Therapy can be especially helpful if you
and your partner disagree on whether or not to have a second baby.
Recognize that stopping with one child is a choice too.
*Revisit your decision. Asked whether I wanted a second when
my first was a baby I answered, “No way!” A year later I’d decided to go
for it. Everything can look different once your little one sleeps through
the night. Rest can make you eager to have another, or determined to
stop with one!
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Want the real scoop on life after the second child? Need help handling two small kids? Read the award-winning book Beyond One: Growing a Family and Getting a Life by Jennifer Bingham Hull. Visit http://www.growingafamily.com to sign up for her free newsletter and find more tips. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jennifer_Hull |
Tantrums
Posted by: allaboutbabyblog on: November 16, 2009
Why your child has temper tantrums
A temper tantrum is the emotional equivalent of a summer storm — sudden and sometimes fierce. One minute you and your child are in a restaurant enjoying your dinner, the next minute he’s whimpering, whining, and then screaming at the top of his lungs because his straw is bent. Children between the ages of 1 and 3 are especially prone to such episodes.
Though you may worry that you’re raising a tyrant, take heart — at this age, it’s unlikely that your child is throwing a fit to be manipulative. More likely, he’s having a meltdown in response to frustration. Claire B. Kopp, professor of applied developmental psychology at California’s Claremont Graduate University, attributes much of the problem to uneven language skills. “Toddlers are beginning to understand a lot more of the words they hear, yet their ability to produce language is so limited,” she says. When your child can’t express how he feels or what he wants, frustration mounts.
How to handle a tantrum
Don’t lose your cool. A tantrum is not a pretty sight. In addition to kicking, screaming, or pounding the floor, your toddler’s repertoire may include throwing things, hitting, and even holding his breath to the point of turning blue. When your child is swept up in a tantrum, he’s unlikely to listen to reason, though he will respond — negatively — to your yelling or threatening. “I found the more I shouted at Brandon to stop, the wilder he would get,” says one mother of a 2-year-old. What worked instead, she discovered, was to just sit down and be with him while he raged.
Staying with your child during a tantrum is a good idea. Stomping out of the room — alluring as that may be — can make him feel abandoned. The storm of emotion he’s going through can be frightening to him, and he’ll appreciate knowing you’re nearby. Some experts recommend picking up your child and holding him if it’s feasible (i.e., he’s not flailing too much), saying he’ll find your embrace comforting. But others say it’s better to ignore the tantrum until your child calms down, rather than rewarding negative behavior. Through trial and error, you’ll learn which approach is right for your child.
Remember that you’re the adult. No matter how long the tantrum continues, don’t give in to unreasonable demands or negotiate with your screaming toddler. It’s especially tempting in public to cave in as a way of ending the episode. Try not to worry about what others think — anyone who’s a parent has been there before. By conceding, you’ll only be teaching your child that throwing a fit is a good way to get what he wants, and setting the stage for future behavior problems. Besides, your child is already frightened by being out of control. The last thing he needs is to feel that you’re not in control either.
If your child’s outburst escalates to the point where he’s hitting people or pets, throwing things, or screaming nonstop, pick him up and carry him to a safe place, such as his bedroom. Tell him why he’s there (“because you hit Aunt Sally”), and let him know that you’ll stay with him until his negative behavior stops. If you’re in a public place — a common breeding ground for tantrums — be prepared to leave with your child until he calms down.
“When my daughter was 2, she had an absolute fit at a restaurant because the plain spaghetti she ordered arrived with chopped parsley on it,” recalls one mother. “Although I realized why she was upset, I wasn’t about to let her disrupt everyone’s dinner. I took her outside until she calmed down.”
Talk it over afterward. When the storm subsides, hold your child close and talk about what happened. Acknowledge his frustration, and help him put his feelings into words, saying something like, “You were very angry because your food wasn’t the way you wanted it.” Let him see that once he expresses himself in words, he’ll get better results. Say with a smile, “I’m sorry I didn’t understand you. Now that you’re not screaming, I can find out what you want.”
Try to head off tantrum-inducing situations. Pay attention to what situations push your child’s buttons and plan accordingly. If he falls apart when he’s hungry, carry snacks with you. If he has trouble making a transition from one activity to the next, give him a gentle heads-up before a change. Alerting him to the fact that you’re about to leave the playground or sit down to dinner (“We’re going to eat when you and Daddy are done with your story”) gives him a chance to adjust instead of react.
Your toddler is grappling with independence, so offer him choices whenever possible. No one likes being told what to do all the time. Saying, “Would you like corn or carrots?” rather than “Eat your corn!” will give him a sense of control. Monitor how often you’re saying “no.” If you find you’re rattling it off routinely, you’re probably putting unnecessary stress on both of you. Try to ease up and choose your battles. Would it really wreck your schedule to spend an extra five minutes at the playground? And does anybody really care if your tike wears mismatched mittens?
Watch for signs of overstress. Although daily tantrums are a perfectly normal part of the mid-toddler years, you do need to keep an eye out for possible problems. Has there been upheaval in the family? An extremely busy or harried period? Tension between Mom and Dad? All of these can provoke tantrums. If after the age of 30 months your child is still having major tantrums every day, talk to your doctor. If your child is younger than 30 months and has three or four tantrums a day and isn’t cooperating with any routines, such as getting dressed or picking up toys, you also may want to seek help. Your doctor can make sure your child has no serious physical or psychological problems and suggest ways to deal with the outbursts. Also, talk to your doctor if your child has frightening breath-holding spells when he gets upset. There’s some evidence that this behavior is linked to an iron deficiency.
Source: http://www.babycenter.com/0_tantrums_11569.bc#comments
The discipline tool kit: Successful strategies for every age
Posted by: allaboutbabyblog on: November 16, 2009
We’ve all seen them: the out-of-control toddler hurling handfuls of sand at the park; the whiny-voiced 3-year-old begging for candy in the grocery line; the sassy 7-year-old yelling “you can’t make me!” at the restaurant.
And we’ve privately dissed their parents, reassuring ourselves that we’d never be such a wimp if our child was terrorizing the playground or disrupting everyone’s dinner.
But then it happens: the massive meltdown that takes you completely by surprise. And suddenly you are that parent — the one flailing to figure out what to do. The truth is, every child presents discipline challenges at every age, and it’s up to us to figure out how to handle them.
Why is discipline such a big dilemma? Because it feels like a tightrope act. On one side there’s the peril of permissiveness — no one wants to raise a brat. On the other side there’s the fear of over-control — who wants to be the hardliner raising cowed, sullen kids?
What we need is a comfortable middle ground to ensure that our little ones grow up to be respectful, caring, and well behaved.
First, the ground rules
To set the stage for discipline success, here are the bottom-line rules many experts agree on:
1. We’re all in this together. Right from the start, teach your kids that your family is a mutual support system, meaning that everyone pitches in. Even a baby can learn to “help” you lift her by reaching out her arms, says Madelyn Swift, founder and director of Child right and author of Discipline for Life, Getting It Right With Children.
2. Respect is mutual. One of the most common complaints parents and kids have about each other is “You’re not listening.” Set a good example early on: When your child tries to tell you something, stop what you’re doing, focus your attention, and listen. Later you can require the same courtesy from her.
3. Consistency is king. One good way to raise a child with emotional strength? Be consistent and unwavering about rules and chores, says Harvard professor Dan Kindlon, author of Too Much of a Good Thing. Even if you pick just one chore to insist on, your child will be better off, Kindlon says. “Being firm and consistent teaches your child that you care enough about him to expect responsible behavior.”
4. Life’s not always fair. We’re so afraid of disappointing or upsetting our kids — too afraid, say some discipline pros. “If a child never experiences the pain of frustration — of having to share a toy or wait their turn in line — or if they’re never sad or disappointed, they won’t develop psychological skills that are crucial for their future happiness,” says Kindlon. So if your child’s upset because a younger sibling got a different punishment, for example, it’s okay to say “I understand that this seems unfair to you, and I’m sorry you’re upset, but life isn’t always fair.”
The tools: Babies, toddlers, and up
A disclaimer: These tools aren’t guaranteed to work every time, and none of them will be right for every parent and child. But they will give you options — and what parent doesn’t need more to choose from in his or her personal bag of tricks?
Tool: Lavish love
Age: Birth to 12 months (and beyond!)
How it works: It’s easy to wonder whether you’re giving in when you pick your baby up for the umpteenth time. Is it time to start setting limits? Not yet, say the pros. Responding to your baby’s needs won’t make her overly demanding or “spoiled.” “It’s impossible to spoil or overindulge a baby,” says Kathryn Kvols, an expert who teaches parenting workshops on discipline and development.
In fact, the opposite is true: By giving your child as much love and attention as possible now, you’re helping her become a well-adjusted and well-behaved person. “Your baby is developing trust in her parents, and she does that by knowing that you’ll be there to meet her needs,” Kvols says.
That trust means that in the long run your child will feel more secure and less anxious, knowing that you take her wants and needs seriously. She’ll have confidence in you later, when it’s time to set boundaries and lay down rules, and understand that you love her even when you correct her.
Real-life application: Your 4-month-old is crying even though you nursed her a half-hour ago. Your mother-in-law says to let her cry it out. Wrong, say experts: By crying she’s telling you she needs something, even if you don’t know what it is. Try walking with her, nursing her again, or singing to her. She needs to know you’ll be there for her, even if all that’s wrong is that she wants to be held.
Tool: Remove and substitute
Age: 6 to 18 months
How it works: Like the rest of us, young children learn by doing — so when your baby throws his bowl of peas off the highchair tray, it’s because he’s curious to see what will happen, not because he wants to upset you or mess up your clean kitchen floor.
That said, you don’t have to stand by while your child does something you don’t like. And you definitely don’t want to stand by if your little one’s grabbing for something dangerous. Take the object away or physically move your baby away from it. Then give him a safe, less-messy or less-destructive alternative. “Substituting something else will prevent a meltdown,” Kvols says.
Make sure you explain what you’re doing to your child, even if he’s too young to really understand. You’re teaching a fundamental discipline lesson — that some behaviors aren’t acceptable, and that you’ll be redirecting him when necessary.
Real-life application: Your 8-month-old keeps grabbing your favorite necklace and chewing on the beads. Instead of letting him, or continuing to pull it out of his hands, unclasp the necklace and put it aside, explaining simply that your jewelry is not for chewing. Then hand your baby a teething ring or another chewable toy and say, “This is fine to chew on.”
Tool: Right wrongs together
Age: 12 to 24 months
How it works: Going back to the peas example above — there’s a difference between a baby who playfully throws her bowl to the floor and a young toddler who knows she’s creating a mess for Mommy or Daddy to clean up.
That turning point happens when your child becomes capable of knowing when she’s doing something she’s not supposed to, often around her first birthday. “When she looks at you with that glint in her eye and then drops the peas, you know it’s time to do something.” says expert Madelyn Swift. What you do, says Swift, is start teaching the concept of taking responsibility for her actions.
Real-life application: Your toddler’s made a mess under her highchair. When she’s finished eating, lift her up, set her on the floor, and ask her to hand you some peas so she’s “helping” you take care of it. Talk to her about what you’re doing: “Okay, we made a mess with the peas so we have to clean it up.”
Tool: Emphasize the positive
Age: 12 months and up
How it works: This one’s easy: Tell your child when you like how he’s behaving, rather than speaking up only when he’s doing something wrong. “It takes a bit of practice to get in the habit of rewarding good behavior rather than punishing bad, but it’s more effective in the end,” says Ruth Peters, a clinical psychologist in Clearwater, Florida, and author of Don’t Be Afraid to Discipline and other books.
Real-life application: It’s nap time, a potential battle zone with your sometimes resistant toddler. Head it off by praising even small steps: “It’s so great that you stopped playing with your blocks when I asked you to. That means we have extra time and can read a story. If you lie down right away, we’ll have even more time and can read two stories.” Keep praising each improvement he makes in his nap time routine, and make it worth his while with rewards such as stories or songs.
Tool: Ask for your child’s help
Age: 12 months to 8 years
How it works: Researchers know something parents may not: Kids come into the world programmed to be helpful and cooperative. All we have to do as parents is take advantage of this natural tendency. “Kids are innately wired to want to cooperate,” says Kathryn Kvols. “A lot of times we parents just don’t notice this because we don’t expect children to be helpful.”
A 2006 study backs up this idea: Researchers at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology discovered that toddlers as young as 18 months already have full-fledged qualities of altruism and cooperation.
The way they demonstrated this was simple. A researcher would “struggle” to hang up a towel with a clothespin or stack up a pile of books. When he dropped the clothespin or tipped the books over, the toddlers would race to pick up the clothespin and hand it back, or restack the books. But when the researcher made the same mistakes without struggling — that is, without looking like he needed help — the toddlers didn’t budge. They understood what it meant to be helpful.
Get your child involved in daily tasks around the house so she learns that everybody works together. “I recommend that parents find things their children can do, whether it’s washing vegetables, feeding the dog, or sorting laundry,” Kvols says. “You’re teaching your child to be helpful, which is one of the most important life skills. We’ve found time and again that the people who are most mentally healthy are those who’ve learned to be of service to others.”
While this may not sound like a discipline strategy, just wait: If you’ve taught your child to be cooperative, you can call on this quality when you need it. For example, giving your toddler a “job” to do can defuse some of the most common tantrum-provoking situations. Kathryn Kvols put this to use when her son, Tyler, refused to get into his car seat. She made him “boss of the seatbelts” — he had to make sure everyone in the car was buckled in before the driver could start the car. The battle over the car seat was over.
Real-life application: Let’s take the grocery store aisle, site of infamous meltdowns. When your child wriggles to get out of the cart, you can hold up a box of raisins and say: “I need to get food for us to eat, and I need you to help me.” Then hand him the box and let him drop it behind him into the cart. You can also ask him to be your “lookout” and help you spot certain favorite foods on the shelf.
Tool: Manage anger
Age: 12 to 24 months
How it works: Toddlers are tantrum-prone because they’re not yet able to control their emotions, experts say. “Tantrums aren’t really a discipline issue, they’re about anger management,” says Madelyn Swift. “Tantrums happen when kids don’t get their way and they’re mad.”
Step one in this situation is to let your child calm down in whatever way works best for her. If she’ll let you hold her, hug and rock her until she’s quiet. If touching her only sets her off again, give her space to calm down by herself.
Don’t try to talk to her about what happened until she’s over the emotional storm, Swift says. But once it’s over, don’t let relief prevent you from addressing what happened. Instead, replay the tape and return to the scene of the crime. It’s time to fix whatever mistakes were made.
Real-life application: Your toddler didn’t want to get dressed and threw a fit, hurling toy cars around the room. Once she’s stable, take her back to the toy cars and calmly but firmly tell her it’s time to pick them up. If the task seems too daunting, split it up. Point to one pile of cars and say, “You pick up these cars and I’ll pick up the ones over there.” Stay there until your toddler has finished her portion of the job.
If she refuses and has another tantrum, the cycle repeats itself. But wait longer for her to settle down this time, and make sure she knows you mean business. Then back to the cars you go.
Tool: Talk toddler-ese
Age: 12 to 24 months
How it works: The secret to getting your toddler to do what’s right — or to stop doing what he shouldn’t — can be as simple as communicating in a way he can truly understand. Pediatrician Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Toddler on the Block, tells parents to view their toddler as a “little Neanderthal” and talk to him as such. In other words, get down to his “primitive” level and keep it really, really simple.
Karp calls his communication strategy The Fast Food Rule because you’re basically operating like a drive-through cashier: You repeat back the order, then name the price. Use short phrases with lots of repetition, gestures, and emotion to show your child that you get what’s going on in his head.
Real-life application: Your toddler yanks a truck out of his friend’s hands. Instead of plopping him down in a time-out or trying to explain why what he did was wrong — both strategies that assume your child’s more sophisticated than he is — take a few minutes to echo what he seems to be thinking and feeling back to him: “You want the truck.”
Validating your child’s feelings will help him settle down, and once he’s calm enough to listen, you can deliver your discipline message. But again, give him the stripped-down version: “No grab, no grab, it’s Max’s turn.” Note: This may feel silly at first, but it will work.
Tool: Listen to “no”
Age: 12 to 36 months
How it works: “No” is one of the first words many kids learn to say, and it almost immediately becomes the one they say most often. As parents know, the constant negativity and refusals can get a little tiresome. Strange as it may sound, one way to prevent “the endless no’s” is to try and take “no” seriously when your child says it. After all, we all have a tendency to repeat ourselves when we don’t think people are listening, right?
Real-life application: Your toddler’s running around in a dirty diaper, but she refuses to stop and let you change it. “Start by asking if she wants her diaper changed, and if she says no, say okay and let it go for a while,” says Kvols. Wait five minutes and ask again, and if you get another no, wait again.
Usually by the third time you ask, discomfort will have set in and you’ll get a yes. And knowing that saying no carries some weight will stop your child from saying it automatically. “The more you respect their no, the less often they use it,” Kvols says.
Source: http://www.babycenter.com/
Protect Your Baby’s Future Teeth
Posted by: allaboutbabyblog on: November 9, 2009
Even when your baby is only two months old, you should keep her gums healthy and clean. Gently wipe her gums with a wet, clean, soft cloth every day. The most important thing to remember is never to put your baby to bed with a bottle. In addition, never prop up the bottle at any time.
Any kind of drink except water can cause a baby’s teeth to decay, even breast milk and infant formula. Other liquids that cause tooth decay are powdered fruit drinks, soda and juice. Any drink that contains sugar can cause tooth decay when your baby gets older. A two-month-old baby should drink only breast milk, formula or water.
Here are some tips to follow to protect your baby’s teeth:
• Always hold your baby during feedings. Do not prop up the bottle or leave a bottle in your baby’s bed.
• If your baby needs a pacifier at bedtime, make sure it is clean and dry.
• Do not dip the pacifier in honey or sweet liquids. Your baby might like the sweet taste, but these liquids will cause tooth decay when her teeth come in. Germs in honey can also make a baby sick.
• Help prevent the spread of germs to your baby. You and your family should have regular dental checkups to help keep your own teeth and gums healthy. Clean the nipples of your baby’s pacifiers and bottles by washing with soap and rinsing carefully and thoroughly with clean water. Do not lick your baby’s pacifier or bottle nipples to “clean” them.
How To Clean Your Baby’s Teeth
At 10 months of age, babies are too young to clean their own teeth. But you can start now to make teeth cleaning a lifelong daily habit. Your baby learns most from watching you. Set a good example by brushing your own teeth after every meal. Let your baby see you doing it. Then clean your baby’s teeth by using a wet, clean, soft washcloth to remove germs. Do this after every meal. Save toothpaste until your baby is older.
Make teeth cleaning fun. Make a puppet from an old, clean white sock. Draw eyes and mouth on the bottom near the toe. Pull the sock over your hand. Pretend to clean the puppet’s teeth. Let your baby try. Alternatively, use a stuffed animal.
Sing a song while cleaning. Make up your own words. Or sing these words to the tune of “Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush.” This is the way we clean our teeth, clean our teeth, clean our teeth. This is the way we clean our teeth so early in the morning. (This is the way we clean our teeth before we go to bed.)
Use teeth cleaning for learning. Point to your teeth and say, “Teeth.” Ask, “Where are your teeth?” Talk about cleaning. Use words like brush, clean, tongue, top, bottom, back, front. Your baby will need to know these words when she starts cleaning her own teeth.
Make teeth cleaning a pleasant experience. That way your baby will want to try it on her own.
White spots on your baby’s teeth could be a sign of bottle tooth decay. If you see white spots, call your dentist.
About the Author:
Paul Banas was looking for a business idea that would allow him the flexibility to spend time with his family. Paul Banas is a founder of http://www.greatdad.com – a leading source of experience, recommendations, inspiration and advice for dads – delivered from the male perspective.
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